Because vs. Although

My husband and I attended a wedding last weekend, and this made me reflect on the nature of love. Oftentimes, people fall in love because of certain things. The person looks attractive; the person is an intellect; and/or the person has a desirable background. Because of these things, it is easy to fall in love. But will a love based solely on these things last? I posit that we should fall in love although rather than because. I am not saying that the many reasons because we fall in love are not important; these are of the utmost importance and are what attract us in the first place. I am saying, however, that the reason why we stay in love is although.

I think it is fairly simple to understand what it means to love someone because, but what does it mean to love someone although? In my own marriage, I believe my husband loves me although he sees all of my shortcomings. He loves me although I have baggage and has become the bellhop to help carry these bags. I am aware of my husband’s eccentricities and his baggage, as well, and I love him although I can see he is not a perfect person. In fact, his imperfections make him more endearing to me. We often say that we may not be perfect, but we are perfect for each other. (Feel free to retch if this is getting too saccharin for you. I’m just trying to illustrate from my own experience what it means to love someone although.) Stephanie Perkins wrote in Lola and the Boy Next Door, “’I know you aren’t perfect. But it’s a person’s imperfections that make them perfect for someone else.” These imperfections are the although through which we grow our love and make our love last.

Although we had to go through a rough month, patch of months, or a rough year, we still love one another. Although we suffered a loss together, we still love one another. Although there was a loss of trust, we choose to continue to love one another. Although we do not see eye to eye on a huge issue, we choose to still love one another. And since we are loving each other although, our love grows more and more with each passing year in a way that those who love because do not experience. The love grows stronger, as well, like a basket weave as we see each other as we truly are rather than how we initially wanted that person to be.

My husband first caught my attention because. I first fell in love because. I wanted to marry him although. I continue to love him although.

Kiss
“Ugh, gross…”
Wrinkle my nose in the
Mirror.
Reflection
Too close for comfort.
Imperfections magnified.
A new crop of pimples
Brought on by hormones
Time of the month.
Another “ugh.”
He asks me,
“What’s wrong?”
Show him the pimples.
He starts to tickle
As I squeal and
I squirm.
He kisses the
Imperfection.

 “We like someone because. We love someone although.” –Henri De Montherlant

2 Comments on Because vs. Although

  1. Dad
    December 19, 2013 at 11:34 pm (4 years ago)

    OK. You hooked me, reeled me in, & can’t wait for more! Proud of YOU & Love YOU MORE!!!

    Reply

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